We live in a culture and a society where going against the grain is what's admired. Being a "rebel" if you will is celebrated and glamorized; all in the name of "who gon' check me boo?!" (Shoutout to Shereé from housewives for putting that phrase in just about everybody's mouth, lol). Along with being a rebel, we're also "canceling" everybody and just about everything.

Time to cancel the cancel-culture.

So it's easy to find yourself out here in these streets having canceled everything but Netflix and being a rebel not allowing anyone to speak truth and life into your life. But no man is an island and it can be dangerous territory to find yourself acting like you don't need anyone or anything. The strong Black independent woman doesn't become any less fascinating or fabulous because she admits to wanting or even needing support. And so I would love it if we as Black women can normalize needing a support system.

We're all called to do something and have a purpose to fulfill, and one thing that one of my online mentors shared, is that her wealth and success are attributed to relationships. Needing relationships isn't a bad thing. Admitting your growth to amazing relationships doesn't reflect negatively on you either. There's no special badge of honor given to those who endure the journey alone, so I honestly don't quite know what the appeal is.

[Also Related: You Can Start From the Bottom and Still Overcome Any Obstacle]

The power of relationships.

The way I look at it, you're doing yourself a disservice by robbing yourself of the experience to benefit from the wisdom and influence of others. There's a proverb that says, only a fool learns from his own mistakes, the wise man learns from the mistakes of others. This is why mentoring is huge. Mentors, coaches, and sponsors all play a big part in many people's success, but we may not know or see that at the onset. And so we falsely believe that if "so-and-so" could get there (seemingly on their own) then so can I.

Sidebar: If you're wondering what the difference between a mentor, coach, and a sponsor is; a mentor advises you, a coach guides you, and a sponsor essentially opens doors for you. Another way to describe it that I found is, a mentor talks WITH you, a coach talks AT you, and a sponsor talks ABOUT you. All different people, who perform different functions, but relationships, that are literally life-changing.

I recently saw the power of relationships in Netflix's documentary The Black Godfather. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. The movie is about Clarence Avant who on the surface is a music executive, entrepreneur, and film producer. But below the surface or off-camera, if you will, he's a connector. Variety magazine calls him "The quintessential guy-behind-the-guy". His connections made deals and stopped deals. Opened doors and closed others. His life is truly a lesson in the power of connections and relationships.

Find your people.

The reason I'm bringing this up is that we all have a purpose and dreams to pursue, and for a lot of us, what's holding us back is either intimidation, lack of know-how, lack of resources, or belief in ourselves to "carry the mantle". These are all areas that can be solved by surrounding ourselves with the right people. The onus isn't on anyone else to come and join your journey. You have to intentionally pursue and add the necessary relationships to your village.

The people may already be accessible to you, but you simply haven't asked them if they're open to deepening that connection. And if you're not in their sphere of influence, seek them out and add yourself to it. This may sound somewhat aggressive, but based on the idea of "six degrees of separation", you're only a few introductions away from this being seemingly "creepy". But you have to open your mouth, closed mouths don't get fed. The worst they can say is no and you're no worse off than before you asked.

I want you to live the life you deserve to live. If 2020 taught us nothing else, it's that life is precious and we don't get a do-over. We need to make the most out of this life and living purposefully is just that. Increase your chances of success by equipping yourself with not just knowledge, tools, and skills; but also people that will stand in your corner. Even if it's a distant corner, as we're all on our own journeys; a soundboard, an ear, or a recommendation won't do you any harm.

Conclusion.

Pursue your passions fiercely and increase your chances for success by building valuable relationships. Someone SHOULD check you boo! Lol. Getting checked is how you avoid pitfalls, find "short cuts", and find out about opportunities that may otherwise have missed.

Cheers to the rest of 2021 and all the new relationships we're gonna build. ♥

Stay Blessed!

V