hooked to THE plug.

Growing up in the church we used to sing this song that says “I shall not, I shall not be moved, just like a tree that’s planted by the water side, I shall not be moved”. I was a kid at the time so I didn’t initially know that the song was based off the scriptures in Jeremiah 17:8 and Psalm 1:3. For record I wholeheartedly agree with those scriptures that basically say - Stay connected to THE plug. #Jesus

So when it comes to your faith and your convictions, regardless of any exterior circumstances, you’re gonna be alright girl. Stay hooked to the plug and He’ll see you through. It may not be walk in the park, but my bible says He’ll never leave us nor forsake us. #WontHeDoIt  

never stuck.

However, I saw this quote from Myleik Teele’s Instagram stories which said “You're not a tree, you're never stuck! Get up and move!”  This quote was in response to one of her followers asking her what she does when she feels stuck. And this answer, which seems so simple was so profound to me.

Why do so many women feel like they don’t have any choices in life? There is very little in life, including your circumstances that you have to succumb too. And I’m speaking from experience. 

my story.

At the tender age of 24 (I can say “tender age” now. At the time chiiiile, you couldn’t tell me nothing. I was GROWN, lol.) I packed up my entire life and moved from Sweden to Toronto, Canada. As some of you know, I was a mother of 2 already at this time as well. So why on earth does one leave comfortable and “perfect” Sweden to move to a country they’ve never even been in?? I will say, an ounce of stubbornness, and possibly some naiveté deserve credit for the bold move, lol.

Essentially, my life long dream up to that age was to pursue the “American dream”, which as a black female wanting to climb the corporate ladder, seemed more feasible and probable in the States than in Sweden. A country which at the time, I was yet to witness a black female occupying any board seat, being any manager, and most certainly being a CEO. 

Two kids later however, America just didn’t seem like the wisest decision. I grew up with free healthcare, and I was a mom. I can rough it and tough it out on my own any day of the week if needed. But these kids needed some kind of safety-net. So Toronto, Canada was my next best option. I mean, I’m barely 2 hours away from the U.S. border, AND I have free healthcare. Can’t beat that with a stick (as my girl, Nitraa B from YouTube says). 

everything is figureoutable.

And here I am. Has it been easy. Heeeeellll NO. But I did it. The point and the moral of the story is you’re NEVER stuck anywhere. If life has you feeling like you’re out of options, it’s time to get creative and be resourceful. Yes - picking up and moving to whole other country has its logistics. A Visa for one. So research your options. Figure out what needs to be done and how to do it. As my other girl Marie Forleo says, “Everything is Figureoutable”. Yes figureoutable. It’s a word, lol. More than that, it’s an entire mood. So much so that Forleo wrote a whole book on it.

It doesn’t have to be as drastic as moving to a new country. Perhaps life has you feeling like you’re stuck in your career which you absolutely hate. But you feel dependent on that paycheck so you feel you can’t make a change. Take night classes sis. Take an online course. YouTube and Google combined is a WHOLE university!! Lol. Get the skills and knowledge you need so you can see the changes in your life that you want to see. You’re NEVER stuck!! And no, change rarely happens overnight. You might have to tough it out. And perhaps that’s what we need to address. Short term pain for long term gain. 

the struggle.

Moving to Canada for me meant being an international student. That was my ticket to this country. Remember I said I had 2 kids that were 1 and 3 at the time. Mind you, this was MY dream. My parents and my sisters were living their best life which did not include moving across the Atlantic Ocean. This meant I was in a foreign country, with no extended family to lean on physically (thank God for phones and FaceTime), a full-time student, and 2 kids to feed. My saving grace was being able to take my 4-year degree at an accelerated pace which brought it down to 3.5 years, and then I was done. When you’re in it, 4 years might as well be 40 years. But keep your perspective by keeping your eye on the prize, the goal, the dream. It’s doable. 

let’s recap.

1. You’re NOT a tree - You can get up and move.

2. You’re never permanently stuck in any situation.

3. You have options. If you’re having difficulty seeing those options - call a sister, call a friend, an aunty. Somebody will have the wherewithal to see what you can’t and guide you in the right direction. And if not, call a therapist that can help you see things more clearly so you know for yourself what direction you need to go in.

If you’re going through it and feeling stuck, my prayers truly do go out to you. My hope is that this post is able to give you at the very least a glimmer of hope. Hang in there, and keep the faith. You’re gonna be ok.

Stay Blessed!